Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
