Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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