another moral hangover. fuck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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