she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize