you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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