Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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