Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
