I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize