I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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