drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
