Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize