i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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