Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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