I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
