omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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