He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
