Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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