Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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