If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
More tranny stories later!
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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