Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
