it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
