You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
