I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
