Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
