My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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