CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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