Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this will be a night to untag.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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