i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
