After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
