So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
