So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
