Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
