I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Let's get the cat blown out
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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