Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
