Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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