no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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