But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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