About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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