You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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