I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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