You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I stole a fireplace last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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