dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
