i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
