I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
NoShamevember. You game?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
