if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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