Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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(201): View more from New Jersey

why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy

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(224): View more from Illinois

Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect

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(801): View more from Utah

It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.

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(949): View more from California

Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes

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