I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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