im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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