did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
