What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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