I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
