it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
