Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize