I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
