Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
