I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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